This mantra is from earlier this year before I became a Weight Watchers drop out....I was really inspired by my friend Busola who had become all-michelle-obamalicious with her ripped arms and flat stomach. She told me that the secret was WW. So when it came about that there was one beginning at my job, I was very excited, like I am about most things, to start something new...aptly called WW@W (Weight Watchers @ Work). Catchy, I liked it...every tuesday, we will all pile into a conference room and confess our sins and or celebrate our wins...very village poeple with a touch of alcohol anonymous. In a nutshell it was fun and for about 2 months I was kicking butt and taking no prisoners...and I saw a slow and steady loss...right before my friend Bimby's wedding....That was the background history, now on to present day....
The hardest part of my existence (I say hard because I love and hate it at the same time) is my lifestyle. I am a self-proclaimed road-warrior ala...up in the air (yummy George Clooney). Between my job and my personal penchant for visiting my friends and vacationing, I am probably at home about 30% of the year. Upside: I love it, Downside: hard to have a steady habit! I never even pretend to take my work out gear with me (lol, I am tickled that I actually use the term work out gear...what I really mean to say is my hot pink matching track suit, my pink ipod and my pink Nikes and the occasional flower pinned in my hair). I finally broke down and bought real work out shoes after being dragged to the Chicago Nike Store by my friend Akilah who just LOVESSSS her some Nikes...
focus Gbems, focus...
Where was I...okay so on the road I have long days, airports, hotels and eating functions!!! Not an excuse I know...u can manage your environment, blah blah blah...I have heard it all before!!! Somehow I JUST CANT SEEM TO GET A HANDLE ON IT! So my dear readers, the reason I havent updated you in a hot minute is because I was overcome with shame from my antics last week...I mean, I was seriously on a No Carbs Left Behind mission much like my favorite girl next door Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love! Seriously...it was penang curry for lunch and pad thai for dinner - FOR 4 days....I KNOW - I await all judgements!!!
I couldnt help it...I wondered if I should confess my sins at all and realized that's the exact purpose of this blog. I HAD TO be completely honest. I entertained the idea of blaming my boss (a fellow thai food enthusiast like myself, or Shanti my Seattle hostess who never said NO to my demands for cupcakes and indian food! At the very least, I figured I could blame the crappy Seattle weather, I mean when its raining, grey and cold, what else is there to do but watch Sleepless in Seattle while snuggled on a couch chowing down on some scrumptious chicken makani and roti eh?!? quickly followed by a red velvet cupcake and some tea!
What we have here ladies and gentlemen is a complete disregard of my self imposed rules...clearly I am FAR FROM PERFECT. However, on the flip side, realizing my inadequacy and absolutely ridiculous behavior, I decided to do penance this week. So every day this week, I have taken my self to the gym so that i could have something positive to report to y'all...I even let the abs natzi M.Chow use me as her subject for torture this week. Its friday night and I can barely type this diatribe and am hiding from people who make me laugh cuz it hurts to move any part of my body BUT I can say I have made PROGRESS! I am back to where I was pre - Seattle and am back in my groove...focused on the goal!
I would personally like to say a few words of "Thanks" to Eziwanne for rolling on the floor laughing when I described my plight and then barely pulled herself together enough to offer some random words of support (just wait til I see ya - imma force feed you some lard :)
So thats it...I feel so much better now that I have shared this with you all...the guilt ate at me all week but now its Friday night and I am off to a birthday party (where I will NOT EAT CAKE) but sing karaoke and take on some Tbirds at Dance Dance Revolution on playstation...
Have a great weekend friends....much love...
Gbems....
Friday, October 29, 2010
Poker Face...
Dear readers,
I have been quite remiss in updating y'all on whats been going on with me since I was squash-ed! Partly because of shame - you will find out later why I say this and partly because life just got really busy! I now recall why I never blog, its not cuz I wont love to, its cuz its hard to remember to find time to do it.
Anyways...todays blog is about having a Poker Face...I am an unofficial member of the Thunderbird Asian Mafia since my performace on stage as a Cherry Blossom (no thanks to you Monica Zhou) This is where I should probably insert the link to the video but I shant so lets move on...
The Godmother of the Thai sect who shall remain nameless has always told me that I need to adapt a poker face. Apparently I show wayy too much of my emotions...I laughingly try to explain how I am Nigerian and my people are not known for being stoic. This most recently came up when we both went to watch Karate Kid and she turns around (during a very poignant moment when Jackie Chan is explaining how his family died) and tells me - You are the loudest movie watcher ever...I was stunned...i didnt realize that people could hear my sniffles so loudly. I cant help it, I am a big wuss and cry at everything! To be frank, she may have said it when I jumped out of my seat, with a Jersey Shore inspired fist pump and clapped vigorously once Jaden Smith kicked some bully's booteeee at the very end. The general gist is..she clearly thinks I need a Poker Face...
In a professional environment its probably best to adhere to this rule as opposed to sharing my every thought as I am apt to do. So upon further consideration, I smile and say I shall work on it and have been taking lessons ever since from a few of the masters.
So when put into the real world last week, I think I did very well...you be the judge. Day: Thursday Oct 21st, Time is 8am, Location: Hospital, Objective: Physical, Mental State of Mind?!? - FREAKED THE HECK OUT!!!
You will probably learn a lot about me via this blog...first you learned that I have an aversion to veggies, like to cry at the movies and now you will learn that I HATE HOSPITALS!!! I dont know what it is about them...it could be the nicest, most luxurious place ever but it freaks me out! Even if I am only accompanying someone there, I still feel faint.
So...given that they always state that you should visit a doctor before starting any new exercise/diet regimen and maybe also the fact that I havent EVER had a physican and all my friends have been harassing me about it - I finally decide to go. In a typical Gbemi - Go Big or Go Home Fashion - I schedule it all in one day...I mean Lady Doctor, Blood Test, Blood Pressure the whole works...feeling pretty proud of myself that day until the actual day arrives.
I will preface this with saying that my actual doctor was not available for 4 months so I let the lil ASU Sundevil receptionist pick a nice substitute for me (who then ended up being a judas..so much for school love)...i specifically asked for someone nice and patient...
In comes Medical Barbie, blonde, peppy...supposedly harmless...I will spare you the gory details...lets just say it starts with the poking, stabbing, force-feeding me water so that i could give a wee sample and then ends with a broken needle in my arm and 5 vials of blood! Can I just ASK...why the HECK do they need 5 vials to do a blood test! What happened to the days of 1 vial eh??! I am convinced they are running some underground vampire blood bank and tried to find some solace in the fact that I may run into Edward Cullen on my way out (attn: clearly I am also a twilight geek).
To come full circle....I used every single lesson learned from my beloved asian friends and maintained dignity and decorum through the whole thing! I mean really...i dont really believe them when they said that my scream frightened the whole hospital or when I fell off the bed trying to escape the stab of the needle and upturned the tray of evil looking tools that apparently were part of the process. I mean even when medical barbie casually asked me if I would consider the lap band process, I was exceeding proud of how straight I kept my face when really what I wanted to ask her if she had lost her darn mind!!!
I mean seriously...its not like I am like a gazillion pounds! She doesnt start with heyyy...have u tried diet and exercise, she offers me the freaking LAP BAND!!! Because really, the girl who could barely allow you to get a blood sample is truly gonna sign up for optional invasive surgery?!? As - if (throw back to the 90s with the movie Clueless!!!
My dearest poker face mentors would be soo proud...wont you agree/!? FINE, FINE, SO I FAILED THAT TEST HORRIBLY!!! But the moral of this story was despite this exceedingly traumatic day and experience which apparently is supposed to happen annually....I still went through with it and got it done. So if there is anyone out there who is like me, just do it...I did feel slightly better when the results came in and I am apparently healthy as a horse however, lets just say Oct 21st is forever engrained in my mind for a long time to come!
I have been quite remiss in updating y'all on whats been going on with me since I was squash-ed! Partly because of shame - you will find out later why I say this and partly because life just got really busy! I now recall why I never blog, its not cuz I wont love to, its cuz its hard to remember to find time to do it.
Anyways...todays blog is about having a Poker Face...I am an unofficial member of the Thunderbird Asian Mafia since my performace on stage as a Cherry Blossom (no thanks to you Monica Zhou) This is where I should probably insert the link to the video but I shant so lets move on...
The Godmother of the Thai sect who shall remain nameless has always told me that I need to adapt a poker face. Apparently I show wayy too much of my emotions...I laughingly try to explain how I am Nigerian and my people are not known for being stoic. This most recently came up when we both went to watch Karate Kid and she turns around (during a very poignant moment when Jackie Chan is explaining how his family died) and tells me - You are the loudest movie watcher ever...I was stunned...i didnt realize that people could hear my sniffles so loudly. I cant help it, I am a big wuss and cry at everything! To be frank, she may have said it when I jumped out of my seat, with a Jersey Shore inspired fist pump and clapped vigorously once Jaden Smith kicked some bully's booteeee at the very end. The general gist is..she clearly thinks I need a Poker Face...
In a professional environment its probably best to adhere to this rule as opposed to sharing my every thought as I am apt to do. So upon further consideration, I smile and say I shall work on it and have been taking lessons ever since from a few of the masters.
So when put into the real world last week, I think I did very well...you be the judge. Day: Thursday Oct 21st, Time is 8am, Location: Hospital, Objective: Physical, Mental State of Mind?!? - FREAKED THE HECK OUT!!!
You will probably learn a lot about me via this blog...first you learned that I have an aversion to veggies, like to cry at the movies and now you will learn that I HATE HOSPITALS!!! I dont know what it is about them...it could be the nicest, most luxurious place ever but it freaks me out! Even if I am only accompanying someone there, I still feel faint.
So...given that they always state that you should visit a doctor before starting any new exercise/diet regimen and maybe also the fact that I havent EVER had a physican and all my friends have been harassing me about it - I finally decide to go. In a typical Gbemi - Go Big or Go Home Fashion - I schedule it all in one day...I mean Lady Doctor, Blood Test, Blood Pressure the whole works...feeling pretty proud of myself that day until the actual day arrives.
I will preface this with saying that my actual doctor was not available for 4 months so I let the lil ASU Sundevil receptionist pick a nice substitute for me (who then ended up being a judas..so much for school love)...i specifically asked for someone nice and patient...
In comes Medical Barbie, blonde, peppy...supposedly harmless...I will spare you the gory details...lets just say it starts with the poking, stabbing, force-feeding me water so that i could give a wee sample and then ends with a broken needle in my arm and 5 vials of blood! Can I just ASK...why the HECK do they need 5 vials to do a blood test! What happened to the days of 1 vial eh??! I am convinced they are running some underground vampire blood bank and tried to find some solace in the fact that I may run into Edward Cullen on my way out (attn: clearly I am also a twilight geek).
To come full circle....I used every single lesson learned from my beloved asian friends and maintained dignity and decorum through the whole thing! I mean really...i dont really believe them when they said that my scream frightened the whole hospital or when I fell off the bed trying to escape the stab of the needle and upturned the tray of evil looking tools that apparently were part of the process. I mean even when medical barbie casually asked me if I would consider the lap band process, I was exceeding proud of how straight I kept my face when really what I wanted to ask her if she had lost her darn mind!!!
I mean seriously...its not like I am like a gazillion pounds! She doesnt start with heyyy...have u tried diet and exercise, she offers me the freaking LAP BAND!!! Because really, the girl who could barely allow you to get a blood sample is truly gonna sign up for optional invasive surgery?!? As - if (throw back to the 90s with the movie Clueless!!!
My dearest poker face mentors would be soo proud...wont you agree/!? FINE, FINE, SO I FAILED THAT TEST HORRIBLY!!! But the moral of this story was despite this exceedingly traumatic day and experience which apparently is supposed to happen annually....I still went through with it and got it done. So if there is anyone out there who is like me, just do it...I did feel slightly better when the results came in and I am apparently healthy as a horse however, lets just say Oct 21st is forever engrained in my mind for a long time to come!
Monday, October 11, 2010
"Squash-ed!"
Much love and respect to my friends that are vegetarians BUT I live my life proudly as a Meat-a-tarian!!! I like to blame it on my culture or my upbringing as a meal was never complete without a side of a good sized portion of protein! Soooo, much to my surprise a few weeks ago, I was at the Musical Instruments Museum in Scottsdale
There I was munching away on some yummy food, when to my surprise my friend Alex comments on the fact that I was eating vegetables...with a superior look filled with indignation...I promptly responded - NO I AM NOT!!! She is like...yes you are and pointed to the orange looking cubes on my plate. This went on for a while so I will fast-forward to the end where it appears I thought I was eating sweet potatoes but it actually was a SQUASH camouflaging as that and doing a dang good job I must say!
I was soo impressed with the squash's fab impersonation that I went on a quest to spread the good news to all...Well turns out as my friend Veronica G says...."it has been in existence for a while and people actually know of this vegetable." I wont even point out that she rolled her eyes and almost fell off her chair laughing at my surprised expression...humph...anyhoo...I ignore her and plan to sub my sweet potato with squash from now on..
I happily wait for the weekend and woke up with a bounce in my step this past Saturday, got in my car (where I finally noticed all the damage done by the stupid storm last week!!! But that’s a different story!) and drove to my neighborhood Bashas. I ask the perky blond in the produce aisle for my new favorite vege-friend - The Squash! She opens her eyes wide (looking a bit like Bambi I thought!) and said...what kind?!? I am thinking...gosh, I picked a whiz kid this morning and so I repeated slowly so she could comprehend me - the vegetable kind of squash! She then proceeds to start a Wikipedia-worthy explanation about Squash and how there are many kinds including the spaghetti squash, summer squash, butternut squash and so on.
At this point, I am soo perplexed and ready to give up on this adventure when in a last ditch effort I tell her - whichever one is orange on the inside and acts like it’s a sweet potato! She stops and ponders and then takes me over to a group of odd shaped veggies and says ...not quite sure but you may be talking about the butternut squash. Eager to get the hell out of this confusing world of infinite vegetables, I grab one and head over to pay for it!
(Fast Forward 30mins) I am home and super excited to make this Mediterranean inspired dish (recipe loosely stolen from my roommate actually) and so I peel and cube the squash, toss in some chopped onions, a sprig of rosemary, a dash of salt and pepper, some garlic and Italian herbs. Next I douse it in some olive oil and bake for about 40 mins....the aroma of the caramelizing onions and the intermingling of spices makes me instantly ravenous and so I eagerly wait for it to be ready! Ping...yeaaa it’s done...I proceed to eat a hearty portion (it is a vegetable after all) with some grilled chicken and was super proud of my healthy lunch....
As you can tell...this did NOT have a good ending....3 meals of roasted squash and grilled pepper chickens later...i decide to check online for the actual nutritional value of this "now favorite" vegetable!!! Fine, Fine...it was after many of my friends laughed at me and said it’s probably the same as a potato....
Anyhooo...I do check and lo and behold....1 cup of my squash has over 20g of carbohydrates, 85 calories, 4g of Sugar and NO SIGNIFICANT FIBER!!! WTH I exclaim in sadness...at this point, my roommate is trying hard to control her laughter at my crestfallen expression...what the heck am I to do with the rest of this now I wail!!!
I mean, this isn’t like the time, I found out the a red velvet sprinkles cupcake had like 500 calories and cost me 12 weight watchers point and so I couldn’t eat the rest of the day (thanks Mel Goldman for inviting to the NM event where I fell prey to the deliciousness). I KNEW it couldn’t be great for me but I just didn’t KNOW how bad for me it was. This time, I felt BETRAYED...indeed, I felt SQUASH-ED!!! I mean! I forgave it when it deceived me by thinking it was a sweet potato but this was the ultimate betrayal!!! Sniff, Sniff...
So consider this our goodbye dear Butternut squash....we had a great time, it was fun while we lasted....
On to the next one I guess....*sigh*
Thursday, October 7, 2010
ADHD!!!
There are many things I call myself and this is one of them (although folks ADHD is a serious issue and should not be mocked) but obvi those that know me, know that I am NOT really afflicted just sometime exhibit similar traits :)
Okay...so back to this...I was reminded by my good friend Wizzee that I had also said I would do a blog on my travels which was sometime before I wanted to blog about losing weight and after I decided to write a book....many many many things I like to do, so little time.
I thought about combining both but probably both cuz I sincerely hope this blog ends (with successful completion of my unmentioned goal of course) and I plan to travel and explore global cuisines and cultures for the rest of my LIFE!!! Soo Wizzee. I hear you and I will get a different blog going for the Jet Set Diva section of my existence..but for now.....
Day 4 of operation dress....just got off a 3 day master cleanse....shoo...i dont know how my friends do that crap for 10 days but I was straight up about to lose it after 3 days and that apparently was the minimum amount of time one can do it...I have now transitioned to something less INSANE but equally challenging - South Beach....:( It means....goodbye Sprinkles...dont tempt with with ur red velvet deliciousness, goodbye LoLo's...this girl's not gonna be getting down with some country fried mama's chicken and corn bread, white chocolate grill...date night menu is gonna be AWOL, Le Chalet - crepe happy hour now just makes me sad and all the other cultural mom and pop restaurants around my office...y'all are just gonna have to become recessionistas without my daily support!!! Trust me I feel worse than you DO!!!
But...I can already see the result (my evil former trainer would simply call it water weight but it makes me feel better sooo mehhh to you (tongue sticking out))! My friends Alex and Ronnie are obsessed with the P90X, while Keisha and Gia are Zumba Queens and so of course I have decided to jump on the band wagon as well. As the title of today's blog indicates, I jumped on both wagons but have decided to start those this weekend once my body is used to not having the sugar high...
Another day, another step towards attaining my mission....lets see how long this lasts!
Hasta amigos y amigas!!!
PS: A fun read that also inspires me is Jemima J by Jane Green!!! She had me laughing my tail off listening to her exploits on her weight loss battlefield! Available on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Jemima-Novel-About-Ducklings-Swans/dp/0767905180)
Gbems
Okay...so back to this...I was reminded by my good friend Wizzee that I had also said I would do a blog on my travels which was sometime before I wanted to blog about losing weight and after I decided to write a book....many many many things I like to do, so little time.
I thought about combining both but probably both cuz I sincerely hope this blog ends (with successful completion of my unmentioned goal of course) and I plan to travel and explore global cuisines and cultures for the rest of my LIFE!!! Soo Wizzee. I hear you and I will get a different blog going for the Jet Set Diva section of my existence..but for now.....
Day 4 of operation dress....just got off a 3 day master cleanse....shoo...i dont know how my friends do that crap for 10 days but I was straight up about to lose it after 3 days and that apparently was the minimum amount of time one can do it...I have now transitioned to something less INSANE but equally challenging - South Beach....:( It means....goodbye Sprinkles...dont tempt with with ur red velvet deliciousness, goodbye LoLo's...this girl's not gonna be getting down with some country fried mama's chicken and corn bread, white chocolate grill...date night menu is gonna be AWOL, Le Chalet - crepe happy hour now just makes me sad and all the other cultural mom and pop restaurants around my office...y'all are just gonna have to become recessionistas without my daily support!!! Trust me I feel worse than you DO!!!
But...I can already see the result (my evil former trainer would simply call it water weight but it makes me feel better sooo mehhh to you (tongue sticking out))! My friends Alex and Ronnie are obsessed with the P90X, while Keisha and Gia are Zumba Queens and so of course I have decided to jump on the band wagon as well. As the title of today's blog indicates, I jumped on both wagons but have decided to start those this weekend once my body is used to not having the sugar high...
Another day, another step towards attaining my mission....lets see how long this lasts!
Hasta amigos y amigas!!!
PS: A fun read that also inspires me is Jemima J by Jane Green!!! She had me laughing my tail off listening to her exploits on her weight loss battlefield! Available on Amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/Jemima-Novel-About-Ducklings-Swans/dp/0767905180)
Gbems
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Take 2
Its always amazing to me that I am so OCD about many things yet lackadaisical about some other things! I hesitated to start this blog because how many blogs about getting fit and losing weight can the world possibly handle….I certainly didn’t feel like reading any more! However, while I have little commitment to myself, I absolutely abhor failing on commitments to others thus….this BLOG!
I am known as the Monday diet girl at the office…seriously, every Monday I am starting a diet. That should be a sign, maybe its just too much pressure, afterall who likes MONDAYS to start off with and then you add the hunger pangs and voila, you have the recipe for disaster!!! I thought I would name this blog, Beyonce aint got nothing on me and then I thought – meh, that’s for sure a lie, how about Jennifer Hudson and then I saw her recent pictures and let that go sooo now I am down to – urgh and mehhhh! Not very inspirational but reflective of my current moods.
One of my good friends and former fab flab left me about 5 years ago and is now a super fly diva…thanks to the weight loss phenomenon – Atkins…I figured I love meat right, that should be fairly easy!!! NOPE…turns out while I think I am such a city girl, I am more like a mid western farm girl on the inside….a lover of MEAT AND POTATOES…heck I should just build my house somewhere in between Omaha & Idaho and all would be great!
Anyhoo…I digress (something you will notice I do often). Back to the situation at hand…I have a plethora of weddings coming up and specifically Nigerian weddings and so I feel the need to start a diet plan because its just what I do when I plan to go home. Just before that is my friends wedding in Philly! I bought a dress that I need to fit in to! I NEVER do that generally because its too risky but I am doing it this time and so in honor of that dress and this overral situation…I am naming this blog…because of YOU (and the you here is YOU AMAKA, YES YOU!!!)….
I am known as the Monday diet girl at the office…seriously, every Monday I am starting a diet. That should be a sign, maybe its just too much pressure, afterall who likes MONDAYS to start off with and then you add the hunger pangs and voila, you have the recipe for disaster!!! I thought I would name this blog, Beyonce aint got nothing on me and then I thought – meh, that’s for sure a lie, how about Jennifer Hudson and then I saw her recent pictures and let that go sooo now I am down to – urgh and mehhhh! Not very inspirational but reflective of my current moods.
One of my good friends and former fab flab left me about 5 years ago and is now a super fly diva…thanks to the weight loss phenomenon – Atkins…I figured I love meat right, that should be fairly easy!!! NOPE…turns out while I think I am such a city girl, I am more like a mid western farm girl on the inside….a lover of MEAT AND POTATOES…heck I should just build my house somewhere in between Omaha & Idaho and all would be great!
Anyhoo…I digress (something you will notice I do often). Back to the situation at hand…I have a plethora of weddings coming up and specifically Nigerian weddings and so I feel the need to start a diet plan because its just what I do when I plan to go home. Just before that is my friends wedding in Philly! I bought a dress that I need to fit in to! I NEVER do that generally because its too risky but I am doing it this time and so in honor of that dress and this overral situation…I am naming this blog…because of YOU (and the you here is YOU AMAKA, YES YOU!!!)….
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